1. What’s a microfiche?
a) A tiny fish living at the bottom of the sea
b) A beauty procedure popular among French women over 35 and some men
c) A system for viewing miniature slides of catalogs and magazines in libraries
2. Have you ever used a typewriter?
a) No, but I heard stories about it from my grandmother
b) Yes, in my acid-free book-making workshop
c) Sure, I can’t do a 200-page manuscript in longhand
3. How do you wish “happy holidays” to your community?
a) Via Facebook, Twitter and a drunk text at 11:59 p.m.
b) Via an email blast with a picture of yourself, a pet, or a baby dressed as Santa
c) By handwriting holiday cards in schoolgirl cursive
4. What’s your favorite device for listening to music?
a) My iPod
b) A record player
c) A reel-to-reel cassette player
5. What’s the most modern way you’ve ever broken up with someone?
a) By changing my Facebook status or tweeting
b) Via a text message or a “Dear John” email
c) By agreeing to meet in a neutral, quiet location for “a talk”
6. What do you think about media piracy?
a) I share everything, freely and openly
b) It’s okay, but ninjas are cuter
c) Back when I was a pirate…
7. If you had your own business, how would you tell people about it?
a) By launching a viral social media campaign
b) By advertising in print media, like newspapers and magazines
c) By nailing a sign to a pole
8. In what capacity do you use social media?
a) For work, play, customer relations, and everything in between
b) For e-stalking my ex
c) Malcolm Gladwell said it best: Twitter is for slackers. Social media is antisocial.
Your Tweets travel faster than an earthquake. You are probably in the know about things that haven’t even happened yet, and would rather go hungry than without your smartphone for a day. Why are you even reading this?
You have an appreciation for the finer, vintage things in life, but know just enough about social media to join the conversation when necessary. You probably like irony and European beer, and have a bookshelf with books in print format. Check in later this week to learn about why social media might be good for you.
You believe that Leo Tolstoy and Henry David Thoreau were the examples of civic virtue that you aspire to. You have gladiatorial attention span and don’t understand the hoopla of social media and phony internet friendships. Consider investing in a computer, and definitely check in next week.