This post was republished by ScaryMommy.com on April 9, 2016, titled “Why an Elaborate Date Night Doesn’t Do It for Me.”
A date night for new parents is all about precious currency: money and time. And unrealistic expectations.
Factor in the prep and travel time – and the mental energy it takes to not obsess over whether your child, potentially hungry and/or neglected by a vodka-guzzling babysitter, is weeping into a teddy bear, drenched in snot and inconsolable tears.
Starting working again after maternity leave is sort of like traveling to a foreign country on a red-eye flight. Everyone speaks a strange language and moves with a goal-oriented speed, while all you want is a piece of furniture/historic landmark to crawl under and fall asleep for a couple of weeks.
This post was republished by The Washington Post on March 19, 2015.
Once upon a time, I was a fan of job interviews. That all changed after I’d switched careers, had a baby and decided to spend the first year at home with her.
I anticipated that my qualifications, with the added bonus of a baby who talks in Russian gibberish, would land me in the “yes” pile. In every cover letter and at every interview, I brought up my work as a stay-at-home-mom as a sign of commitment – prepared to whip out her picture and my color-coded Excel spreadsheet of organic purees.
Who doesn’t ever have a bad day? New parents sometimes do, despite this common belief that motherhood is all about sitting at a park in a state of impenetrable jubilation and tickling or nursing (or both) a giggling infant all day long.
Lots has been written about the challenges new mothers face — related to isolation, hormonal changes, transformed relationships, career adjustments, insomnia, body image, those once-swanky outfits that would look comical now, even if they could miraculously stretch and fit. There is a reason these first months and years are often described as “second puberty.” The bad days don’t affect the loving bond a mother develops with her little one and her joy in motherhood. They do matter when it comes to her bond with herself.
Toothpaste for DInner